I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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