They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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