i permit you to call me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
