The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
