You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
