I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
