You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize