Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
