Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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