Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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