I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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