he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize