i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
