If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
