why didn't you poke me back
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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