Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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