then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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