i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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