It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
