Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
