your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
