You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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