Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
vagina is talking i cant
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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