Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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