On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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