the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize