You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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