i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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