It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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