i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize