I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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