Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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