Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
