it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Randomize
