I wannas sexs uuuuu
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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