even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
