He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
