New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
