This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize