ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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