I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
