Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
