You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
