I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
