so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
