dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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