Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
