i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
