maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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