Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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