The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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