break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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