What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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