so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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