dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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