ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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