I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
