hell yes lets make some ravioli
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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