I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
