I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
