I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Two words: blizzard sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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