That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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