I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
